the pride of an electrical watchmaker has come to me
in a dream, woken me at 4 a.m., and bid me come
here and remind us that i must be prepared to stop at
any moment, ma.  this is the march day haller said i
had "something like" three months left.  so be it. 
we'll let the thing form as it may, day to day,
then i'll be on my way.

i only ask that you know i am content,

that death doesn't scare me, really,

that in death i am content.

the tickle of your fingertips upon the back of my neck
ranks as one of the highest pleasures any man has
ever had in life.  but there are too many beautiful
memories to recount.  just envision me and my
smiling face and the way i loved you, and the blue,
and the rain, and sundays on the phone from college,
and lauren, and jimmy, and dad, and the girls, and the kids. 
that should give you some smiles for a day--
that, and the knowledge that in death i am content.

we just sat you and i

playing talk about proper funerals

and i had fun

and now i'm tryen to sneak a little love whisper in
between the neuropathy, fatigue, and hunger.

we just sat you and i

and god was with us

and there was so much happiness

outweighen the sadness

i was like cracken up inside

like i'm laughen now thinken

hey, i'm typen thru the tinglen

a little love whisper to you in the light.

god is everywhere, god is great,

drops the thought with night as I awake.

i mean night falls, and with it comes the weight

god is everywhere, god is great.

you just came back from babysitting ryan

after tracie and brian went to see the titanic.

do me a favor:  get that blue car painted.

and remember, this looking-out-the-window

running commentary also counts as psalm

because all words are poem and prayer.

and on the third day i rose, like a lily

that opens its wings in the morning,

and i thought what a beautiful vision, the sky

and i thought what a beautfiul vision, the trees

and i thought what a beautiful vision, my mom coming home from mass.

and i was fed like the lily by the rain

and it gave me strength enough to marvel

at the beauty as it outweighed the gravity of the pain,

and it gave me strength enough to say i am grateful

for the chance to have visited this day--

for every day is blessed, every day is grand,

especially a day when like a flower nurtured by rain

i am fed by love from mother's hand.

that i ever came to be at all,

praise the lord, praise the lord, praise the lord,

that anything ever and everything ever

ever came to be at all,

praise the lord, praise the lord, praise the lord.

            everything is beautiful, one and all.

man alters the day, the day alters man.

(the same is true for woman.)

but what is the difference between you and the day?

you walk thru the day, the day walks thru you,

you breathe it, it breathes you,

like a cargo ship or a backpack, whatever you ferry, you ferry on its behalf,

it gives you the burdens and the joys,

and you accept them,

what you hide in secret, it knows, it placed there,

what you reveal, it wanted you to reveal, it let you,

what you remember, it permitted you,

and just the same, you remember what you want, what you yourself bid--

all this adds up to say,

you are the day, the day is you,

and all of it is god.

gone by half-day's end:

like the fate certain beautiful men ascend.

what's a half-life to a life

when you've lived with twice the passion?

what's a half-life to a life

when you've lived with twice the fun?

a life is a life is a life

when all is said and done

even if you go midway

as with the setting of the sun.

11

praise god for having given us a beautiful family.

from generations i never saw

to generations i will never see

including even the in-laws

god gave our family beauty beauty beauty.

in turn we give god thanks and praise

for what else can we give

who know we move thru holiness

every hour we live--

12

the end is imminent, imminent end,

so come, let us have some captain crunch

and laugh at what we can.

let us tidy up affairs, return library books,

entertain final visitors, get stocks in order,

make a will for your books and t-shirts,

count your underwear, that sort of thing,

then have some captain crunch in the morning,

because the end is imminent

and these are the kinds of things you have to do

when the end is imminent,

when the imminent end is at hand.

--oh, and finish the book for your angelic mother.